


Obstructing Flare

by Cerulean_Gaze



Series: Don't Leave the Film Strip Burn Under the Smoldering Light. [2]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Gekijouban Gintama Kanketsu-hen: Yorozuya yo Eien Nare | Be Forever Yorozuya, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 05:16:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21294161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerulean_Gaze/pseuds/Cerulean_Gaze
Summary: A flare could be beautiful as a part of a polaroid film's imperfection— but not with the precious memories it holds to us.
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou & Kagura, Hijikata Toshirou & Shimura Shinpachi, Hijikata Toshirou/?
Series: Don't Leave the Film Strip Burn Under the Smoldering Light. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1528493
Kudos: 11





	Obstructing Flare

_Darkness—_

_Stillness._

From the blinding light that burned through his retinas, it was only replaced by darkness. It was like a serenity from the midst of chaos he was currently living— a refuge for the lost souls. He tightened his grip around to his arms.

A voice then broke through the silence he was indulging.

_“Vice commander! Wake up!”_

He felt a grip on his shoulder with other voices chattering on the distance. It also sounded lively than before.

_Before the blinding light._

Hijikata opened his eyes and had his sight constrained from the bright surroundings he was now lying into. There was a rumble of machinery from afar, footsteps hurriedly running from above. Even the faint laughter of a child from above reached his ears gathering all the noises around him— finding them all strange and nostalgic.

_Isn’t this what it used to be?_

He felt his body stiffed from the crooks of the stairs he was currently leaning into, and the edges burying into his thick clothes gave him a sensation of fatigue he failed to notice earlier. Groaning from the pain his body screaming at, Hijikata lifted himself with his arm and knelt to the first flat of the stairs— only meeting a concerned look of his subordinate standing up to the higher stairs.

“Vice commander! Finally—“ The man gasped. “I thought something just happened to you!”

_Something… just happened._

Everything felt off to him.

Hijikata just stared to the man before roaming his eyes around the floor— the luggage area. There were other civilians passing by as they retrieved their baggage while the employees threw a worried look to the two policemen directed to his current place. He then stared back to the other two— taking note of the black and gold embroideries of their clothes.

_… What is this?_

“Should we call a medic?” The younger on– _Yamazaki_– asked to the other one as he kept his hold on Hijikata’s shoulder.

“I think we should,” The bald one– _Harada_– replied as he stared back to Hijikata’s distant stare.

Everything felt distant to him. It was like a trance Hijikata had fell into as a wave of mixed emotions had washed over him. Even seeing Yamazaki and Harada wearing their usual uniform became strange to his sight— let alone his own one that felt too tight to his chest. As if being under the state of mirage, all Hijikata could do is to _stare_— _stare at the foreign delusional situation he was currently in._

Before Harada could even leave, Hijikata immediately forced himself to sit up that caught both of the men’s attention— breathing heavily resonating from his lungs. Hijikata tried to clear off the colliding memories flashing in his mind and grabbed Yamazaki’s wrist from his shoulder— grounding himself.

Within a snap of Yamazaki’s gasp, everything snapped back to Hijikata.

_“… Where the hell am I?”_ He spoke with a strained voice, eyes sharpened instinctively.

Yamazaki and Harada briefly took a glance from each other before they looked back at Hijikata, brows furrowing from concern to a baffled frown.

“W-We’ve been chasing after a suspicious man, Hijikata-san,” Yamazaki stuttered as he offered his other hand to him. “It was all we’ve been doing until you suddenly collapsed right here.”

_Chasing somebody…_

“The light—“ Hijikata gasped and stood up, frantically looking around. “_That man!_ Where the hell is he?!”

“You need to calm down first, Vice commander,” Harada cut off before Yamazaki could speak, waving his hands in a halt. “It looks like you’re already tired, too. Our other men were already on their wa—“

_“You don’t fucking understand!”_

Hijikata threw his hand to Harada’s collar and pulled him close, anger rising up from his chest.

_“We need to reach him before it’s too—“_

He gasped.

_Too late— for what?_

_…_

He paused.

Hijikata paused and held his breath.

Everything seems to be spinning around him as his vision darkened into sudden rush of clarity he was earlier reaching for. All he could remember is _nothing related to what he was talking about._ That’s why Harada and Yamazaki was now panicking from the outburst he just lashed to them, and even he himself couldn’t get a grip from it. It was like a distant dream he was earlier living into, and snapping out from it immediately threw Hijikata off guard of what he was actually talking about.

He couldn’t remember a damn thing from that _dream._

Slowly, Hijikata unlatched his tightened grip from Harada’s collar and brought his palm to his forehead. The other men just stepped back for a space, quietly observing their lost vice commander on his thoughts.

“… I… I don’t even,” Hijikata quietly muttered as he breathes out an air. “… What am I even doing?”

Only a single tear trickled down to his cheek.

…

_What is this feeling?_

_It felt like I lost something significant._

_It felt like I lost a part of myself._

_But what is it?_

_… A light._

_Silver._

_It’s all I could remember._

_( _ _⇄_ _)_

Only their footsteps resonated to the empty stairs of the fire exit as they descended down to the space terminal.

Hijikata pulled out a cigarette from his vest and held the stick between his lips, clicking on his lighter to light up the stick. He then pulled a drag from the burning cigarette, filling his lungs with the smoke before breathing it out. There were soft coughs from behind, but he failed to take notice of it as his mind wanders away.

“… Harada. What’s the report from the other men?” Hijikata asked, breaking the heavy silence lingering between the three of them.

“They lost track of the target,” Harada quietly replied. “There were too many civilians at the terminal.”

Hijikata recalled the man they were supposed to chase earlier. It was only a man in a tuxedo— but the other men had been took note of his strange activities from the inner center of the terminal. The three of them were supposed to follow up the said report but lost the track of their own way after the incident Hijikata just fell into. He was still speechless about the vague state he was earlier into, and the silence of the other two didn’t help too much either. He couldn’t blame them, anyway— since he was also baffled at the actions he just absentmindedly took.

_Why am I too shook up earlier?_

Hijikata tried to recall the thoughts he fell under the vague state he has been from earlier. All of those thoughts were already distant— but only he could remember the light he saw before he collapsed down to the stairs. Everything also seems strange at the first glance Hijikata took until he realized that nothing has changed since they arrived at the terminal. All he couldn’t quite make a sense with is _why_ he was too baffled from the normality of the place. Did his mind just crashed down and made a fool out of him?

_How pathetic._

They just decided to return to their earlier post to continue observing the terminal’s activities. Yamazaki tried to convince Hijikata to rest for a while that Harada backed up with their concerns, only to be brushed off by their stubborn vice commander. It’s not like Hijikata could rest from the thoughts he was now obsessing with, anyway. Knowing their vice commander is, the two just gave up and only took a good look behind his back as they went through the heavy crowd of the terminal. It was just an ordinary day in the city of Edo— with the bustling citizens and foreigners roaming around, it was sure a fine work for them to deal with.

“Vice commander,” Harada called out after a while. “We’ve been called back where we split up with the other. They should be reporting their insights right now.”

“Good,” Hijikata nodded and simply turned back. “Let’s go.”

The sight of the space terminal standing on its glory from the distance didn’t appeal Hijikata much, let alone be fond of its purpose as what other people has been dreaming of travelling through the said place. Years back then, it weren’t supposed to exist at the first place. Being invaded by foreign creatures that are now called “Amanto”— relying to those creatures that fought their dominance over the country was just odd as growing too dependent to their technology. Thanks to their races, they weren’t supposed to be holding on the swords they were bearing on their sides as well. If it wasn’t for serving under Bafuku government, he and his men wouldn’t even have any pride to carry on at that very moment.

The Shinsengumi— A Special Police Force of Edo founded by Kondo Isao’s very soul. He was the one they were truly living with, too— also the only one they were really grateful for.

So until to the day they drew their last breath, they will do their creeds not for the government— but for the man that retrieved back their lost souls from this country.

Hijikata just tightened his grip to his sheathed sword and sighed, watching the fleeting ships above the once clear skies. Before he could let his mind wander back again, he was suddenly interrupted with a loud call on their side.

_“Hijikata-san!”_

A bespectacled man approached him with a vermillion-haired woman on his side. Neither the two of them was familiar to Hijikata.

_“Gin-san… Did you see Gin-san?!”_

_…_

_A light—_

_ Silver. _

_..._

“Huh?” Hijikata raised an eyebrow to the man. “_Gin-san?_”

_…_

_Darkness—_

_ Stillness. _

_.._

It took a moment before Hijikata could even make up an intelligible response— which made the three of them to fell into a brief stance of stillness.

_“… Who’s Gin-san?” _Hijikata finally spoke— turning the two pale from the mere question.

…

_And strings—_

_Had snapped._

…

It just drew a stunned expression from the two— exactly as what he just drew to Yamazaki and Harada earlier.

Terrified from the response he just gave, the two then suddenly turned away and ran at the direction they were earlier facing. Hijikata turned and only stared at their shrinking figures from afar, eyes softening from the sensation his gut kicking him with.

_..._

_Sympathy._

_They must be lost as well, aren’t they?_

_…_

_It wasn’t just as lost_— Hijikata thought, turning back to the other two men waiting for him.

_Along with image of the two younger ones’ expression engraved to his mind. _

_「_ _↹_ _」_

**Author's Note:**

> hii.
> 
> the film's getting reeled back to another track! please do look forward for the future updates of this series!
> 
> thank you for reading! kudos & comments are highly appreciated as a motivation fuel!


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